


Who Said It Wasn't Real?

by duchessofthemoonbase



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (a strange balance of the two), Angst, Christmas, Damerey Week Leftovers, F/M, Fake Dating, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Oneshot, they were roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28279920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duchessofthemoonbase/pseuds/duchessofthemoonbase
Summary: Poe asks Rey to pretend to be his girlfriend for Christmas.He has no idea how much it's tearing her apart.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Rey
Comments: 18
Kudos: 65





	Who Said It Wasn't Real?

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally my Day 1 (Fake Dating/Christmas Sweater/Modern AU) for Damerey Week but I ended up scrapping it at the last minute: however, I made a few edits and figured I'd post for the holidays!

Rey and Poe could barely get out the door. Dameron relatives from all over were surrounding them, either stacking Tupperware containers into their arms or smothering them with hugs.

“Alright, alright,” Poe said. “I’ll email you that cat video—Rey has the carrots right here—I promise I’ll look into that book—”

The comments bounced off Rey as she finally got the door open, the December chill hitting her as one last voice came through:

“We loved meeting your beautiful girlfriend, Poe! You must bring her to visit us sometime!”

Rey’s heart ached, just as it had all evening.

Poe finally got the door to his dad’s house closed, and they walked through the snow to the car with their loads of presents and leftovers.

“Well,” he said. “It looks like we were pretty convincing.”

“Yeah,” Rey said, stepping into the passenger seat. _Well I’m sure I was,_ she thought, _and little does he know why…_

“Thanks again for going through that whole charade with me,” Poe said, pulling out of his dad’s driveway. “My dad was starting to show my picture to women at the grocery store and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“I mean, I didn’t have anywhere to go anyway, so…”

“No, really,” Poe said. “You definitely get roommate of the century for that performance.”

 _Yeah,_ Rey thought, looking out at the moonlight glistening on the snow as they drove home in the dark. _A performance…_

She had never felt as simultaneously happy and devastated as she had that evening. After years of Christmases in foster care, and then on her own, all of a sudden she was surrounded by warmth. The man she had been pining over for months had held her hand, led her into his dad’s living room and introduced her to his entire family as his girlfriend. Poe had put his arm around her all evening, occasionally kissing her on the cheek when she said something he found particularly delightful. She had felt so warm, too warm, she was burning herself alive; the little match girl snuggled next to him there on the couch, burying her head into his shoulder, burning, burning, burning…

 _God,_ she was such an _idiot_ for agreeing to do this.

And of course Poe had been even more endearing than usual around his family—helping his abuela to her car and playing space pirates with his little cousins. He had to be so damn _cute._ Stupid Poe Dameron, who adored his corgi Bee so much that he’d gotten a custom-printed green Christmas sweater with a photo of her printed on the front, wearing it to dinner with pride.

She watched Poe turn down more snowy streets until they reached their apartment, and they tried their best to get the door open with all the bundles and boxes in their arms.

The door swung open and they were greeted by Bee, who was more than happy to see them after an evening alone.

“Hey!” Poe said, putting the packages down and giving her lots of ear scritches. “Did you miss us?”

Afterwards Poe went straight to his bedroom, and she heard him get into the shower and start to get ready for bed.

The tree stood in the corner, the rainbow of string lights casting pretty shadows on the dark walls of the apartment. The whole world had gone quiet as Christmas Day wound down to a close. Rey sat down under the tree, feeling small and childlike as she looked up at the lights.

She couldn’t stop thinking about those little cousins Poe had been playing with. For them, Christmas had always happened every year; like magic, like clockwork. They believed in Santa, because why wouldn’t they? It’s easy to doubt when you wake up to no presents, when you start to wonder if it’s because _you’re_ the one who’s bad. Those taken-for-granted Christmases were a foreign world to her, and he had let her in.

Rey ran her fingers over the branches of the tree. She had been so stupid to say yes, but how could she resist? She knew it would kill her—and by god, it _had_ killed her, but how could she have said no? When else would she have gotten the chance to hold his hand? She had felt like crying all evening—she’d been so exquisitely happy and so heartbroken that all of her emotions had simply resonated as an ache inside her that didn’t seem to have an end.

“Are you alright?”

She looked behind her to see that Poe had walked out of his room, freshly showered and in his Christmas pajamas.

“I guess.”

Poe walked over and sat down next to her, the colorful string lights making patterns across their faces. “You…you don’t look alright, if you don’t mind me saying.”

Rey sighed and looked up at the tree. “This is the first Christmas I haven’t spent alone,” she said. “Did you know that?”

“No,” he said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…I hope that this year was a little better.”

“That’s just the thing,” Rey said, resting her chin on her knees. “I finally get the Christmas I always wanted when I was young, but it wasn’t even real. It was just some…game. None of it was real.”

He stared at her in disbelief. “Who said it wasn’t real?”

“Poe…don’t…”

“Sweetheart,” he said, moving closer. “Why do you think I asked you to pretend with me in the first place?”

“What?”

“You’ve really never noticed?” Poe asked, looking down in embarrassment. “The way you get me flustered sometimes, I swear I must be an open book to you.”

“That’s not possible, I don’t—”

“ _Rey,_ ” he said. “Everything I did tonight…every time I held your hand or kissed your cheek…that’s how I’ve always wanted to be like with you—practically since the first week I moved in here. I’ve always had a massive, embarrassing crush on you, and these past few months it’s even starting to feel more like…” He cut himself off in a panic.

“Like what?”

Poe took her hand. “You _know_ what.”

“Do you mean it?” Rey asked, leaning in closer.

“Yes,” Poe said, smiling and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Tonight was hard for me too, because I thought…I thought it was the only chance I was ever going to get, and—”

“It was tearing me apart too. It was wonderful, so wonderful, but—”

“I know,” Poe said, his eyes locking onto hers.

“Let’s not stop, then,” Rey said, reaching out to take his hand. “I want to hold your hand every day from now on. For real, this time.”

He squeezed her hand. “I would like that. A lot.”

Rey giggled and fell into his arms, safe and warm again. But this time it didn’t break her heart.

This time, they wouldn’t have to pretend.


End file.
